stripped of all my writing tools, the booze, cigarettes and weed, I need to find a new way forward, toward a new past. jail sentences and prison threats lay dangling like cat toys for my consciousness to play with throughout the day. old lovers like reveries playing with me. never to be found. un-sounded and mightily depressed. laughter in the echo at my let go of specific lovers leaves me wanting to curl into a ball, hurl the whiskey though my veins like dames asking for it. cannabis mistress no more i implore for a more thorough examining of my wrongdoings. finding peace amidst the fight i struggle to write under duress of a cleanly and pin prick sober mind. the beer oh dear and the marijuana wanna find me again in a dark alley and stab me full of life sentences. sober house searching for nothing, stuck, stuck, just stuck. nothing to live for, no urge to shower or brush, just touching the lips of death like a breath from a devil. devils breath coursing through my being, seething into the demise of fruition and maturation. just stuck. frustrated like an un-mated marsupial i spiral down into depression. not feeling, just reeling in a space of hatred for my common man and no plan I see from God, should it ever decide to hobble through my door.
